What if Presence Is Sexy?

I was at this meditation center in Denmark, when I from a distance saw a man. To me he looked like a native American. Not looked-looked, it was more of his energy that I linked to my benevolent idea of native Americans. It was like he was presence. Like he personalized presence. He was standing tall and grounded. It was like there was stillness and relaxation in him. And around him was sort of a sense of naturalness, and I felt drawn to this energy in him. I was immensely curious.

This man seemed unreachable to me. He was surrounded by his beautiful Indian girlfriend, and there was always people around him. It was not like a crowd, it was more like my shyness prevented me from approaching. 

And I searched a way to be seen by him. To be in his presence.

It was the first time I realized that I saw a person with total presence, and I just loved that. It felt hopeful to see a man like that – which proved that men of presence actually exists. And through his presence I knew that I longed to be close to a man with presence.

And then I found a way. He was sort of a healer, and I asked for a session with him. I was actually prepared to pay to swim in that presence. It was like approaching a lover, even if that wasn’t my intention at all. I just wanted to know how it is to be with a person like him for an hour.

And I was laying on a massage bench and he was putting his hands along my spine. His touch was gentle and slow. It was like he was reading my spine, trying to put energy in order. 

Since this was 20 years ago, I don’t remember the conversation, but one thing. He said I had all I needed within, I just needed to make som adjustments. It felt very hopeful, since I was fragile and confused at the time. And I felt seen by him, by his presence. It was absolutely awesome.

My session was supposed to be an hour. But when we was finished, two hours had passed. And of course I started to worry. The session was expensive, and I couldn’t really afford to pay for two hours. And he said: ”Time is my responsibility, don’t worry. Pay for one hour.” Which I did.

I’ve seen him now and then over the years. Today he doesn’t make that huge impression on me. But I am forever grateful that he taught me that presence is really sexy. And it has inspired me to be more present in any meeting.

Reflection from your Swedish love warrior.